Thursday, October 23, 2008

Getting back in the swing of things........

Pictures from our trip last week! These happen to be my favorite!

Well I am getting back in the swing of things......... even though I was only gone a week, it seems there is so much catch up to play.

I have been horrible about meal planning and cooking this week. I had a dinner appointment Monday night so my hubby was on his own. Tuesday night I did something easy- breakfast for dinner. Wednesday night was church supper. Tonight I must confess we ordered take out.

Thank you so much for those who have spoken words of encouragement to me, offered hugs, cried with me and listened. I love and appreciate each of you. After working on our adoption case for almost two years and finding out last week it fell through has been heartbreaking. Especially so soon after my unplanned hysterectomy this summer. I tell you that my heart is sad but I know God is on His throne and in control. That doesn't mean I understand (or even agree, :) ! But I do trust Him, completely.

We have decided not to pursue adoption again. We are ready to move on in life and see the new things God has for us. We have also been looking back to see all the things God has taught us through this experience. Knowing the girls for 3 years and trying to adopt them for 2 has been an emotional roller coaster. They will always be our girls. I will always pray for them and think of them everyday.

Don't be afraid to talk about the girls with us. You are not going to hurt our feelings or upset us. I am still having some crying days and if I cry with you please know it is part of my heart healing. I also am finding people are afraid to share with me they are expecting or news about their pregnancy because they are afraid with what I have gone through it may be the wrong thing to do. PLEASE don't be afraid. I want to rejoice with you in knowing God is blessing you with a special gift. I want to hear all the details, just like before my surgery. I am so appreciative of the families at church that allow me to journey with their family during the ups and downs of life. Hubby and I are so thankful for the times you allow us to be a part of your family for various activities. We are also appreciative of the times you let us "borrow" your children. I have decided we are going to be doing more of this now......... we are "borrowing" two children tomorrow night and taking them to Disney on Ice with us. I decided it felt a little odd to show up without children! Plus seeing them respond to all the fun is half the fun. Before we even knew we were not going to be adopting I shared with one of my staff one of my greatest desires. It is to go to my favorite place on earth with children (Disney World). I know one day I will get to do this. Maybe one day I will get to spoil nieces or nephews.

So I keep telling myself it is almost a new week and I will do better for meal planning. I do have a big week next week- Fall Festival on October 31st. Last year a little over 3,000 people attended our church's Fall Festival. Each year it grows so I am excited to see what happens this year. If you live near Cleveland, TN come join us from 5:30 - 9:00 for hot dogs, chips, cotton candy, nachos, popcorn, drinks, petting zoo, pony rides, 30+ inflatables and carnival games, balloons and clowns! Don't forget to bring a canned good for the manna ministry (food pantry our church operates)!


Charity said...

The girls are so beautiful. My heart breaks for you. God has it all in his plan. We may not understand but we must have faith! I wish sometimes God would just write it out and put it right in front of our faces so we could understand. I will continue to pray for you and your girls. Big hug to you!

Gloria said...

I'm praying for you and Mike, Tara. I cannot image the loss and devastation you're going through. You seem to be handing it well, but I'm sure it's not easy. That's great that you're borrowing some kids to take with you to see Disney on Ice. :-)

Leslie Houghton said...

Hey Tara,
God is surely Awesome and HE will fulfill your life completely. PS. You can 'borrow' my kids ANY time--and can even take them to Disney!! (as long as mommy gets to go too.) LOL :>) Leslie Houghton

Jenn M said...

It makes me sad to read this post. I know God is in control and please just know that you are loved and being prayed for! (Even by those of us who only "talk" through a computer!)