Saturday, October 20, 2012

Re-entry is so hard

Our team has almost been back a week from Nicaragua.  It doesn't really seem possible.  Seven whole days since I have left a gorgeous country.  A country I fell in love with many years ago.  I have been to Nicaragua at least seven times maybe eight- I have lost count.  What I am certain is each time re-entry into my culture becomes a little more difficult. 

I came back this time not feeling well- a silly double ear infection that airline flights didn't help.  I will be glad when I am feeling 100% physically.  However, that is really not what I am referring to when I mentioned re-entry.  What I am speaking about is trying to wrap my mind around all my eyes and heart took in during the week. 

I have pondered my time in this beautiful country and with precious friends (both new ones and old ones).  As I sit in my air conditioned house that has all the modern conveniences our culture offers and type on my laptop with the Internet that runs in my house, I can't help but be a little numb.  You see I've been pondering what I am going to eat for dinner- take out, a pizza from the freezer, soup from the pantry, a sandwich, leftovers from the fridge ..... really my options are unlimited.  To be honest though- I can't decide what to eat.  The phrase "being hungry" takes on a new meaning.  I don't know that I have ever truly felt "hungry".   As I sit here in Cleveland, Tennessee with the many blessings that surround me, I do so knowing that in a little place called Los Sanchez their are hungry people.  People that on good days drink a little coffee for breakfast (they grow it there) and hopefully the energy from about half a cup of coffee would keep them going until dinner.  Most days they will be blessed to eat rice and beans for dinner. 

The people of Los Sanchez are happy, content, thankful, blessed and so faithful.  Faithful to a Savior they love and trust.  Faithful to their Provider.

I continue to ponder and ask God to fill me with a happiness, contentedness, and faithfulness like my friends.  

May I never be the same- may I never forget!
Much Love!
Mrs. Tara

Saturday, October 6, 2012

My Heart is Happy When....

My heart is the happy when I am on mission for Him.  I set out this morning on a journey.  This journey is taking me back to a country that I love so very much.  A country I have missed over the past few years.   The country is NICARAGUA! 

I am leading a team from our church as we serve in the community of Los Sanchez.  Our team is blogging this week- Click HERE to read more about our team being On Mission for HIM. 

My husband and I been On Mission for Him in the country of Nicaragua quite a few times.  We have not been back for several years.  Our last trip here was for what we thought was to finalize adoption papers for two little girls we had met in Nicaragua in an orphanage.  However, it was not to be.  In our hearts they will always be "our" girls.  Due to these circumstances I have not been able to return here.  It was just too painful.  I always knew I would come back one day.  After all I fell head over heals in love with this country and it's people.  I want them to know Jesus and His love fully. 

Well today was the day.  The time had come - I was suppose to return.  I really thought I would be a basket case and have asked tons of people to pray for me specifically in this area.  Well guess what?  I am okay.  I know people are praying for me.  Now that doesn't mean you can stop praying.  Why?  Well tomorrow is another day and well, I am human.  I too often live in my old earthly, sinful flesh.... and to be honest sometimes I can wallow in it with the best of them.  I try my best to walk in His Spirit and claim the victory He has already won.  But since I have already been really honest with you and transparent (which is hard for me to do) can I tell you something else? Sometimes, gulp, gasp--- wallowing in my flesh is easier, sometimes it is what I want to do and I don't care what anyone says about it.  Then as the Holy Spirit so consistently does- He gently (or at times pretty aggressively) reminds me what His word says about my fleshy and sinful self. 

And most of the time (but sadly not all of the time) I repent to my Heavenly Father over my actions, attitudes, words and thoughts that have grieved Him so desperately.  And oh the freedom that comes when I make my relationship with Him right. 

So what does all of this have to do with my heart being happy and Nicaragua? 

My heart is happy because being here in Nicaragua this week is right where I am suppose to be.  I believe I am smack dab in the middle of His will for my life by returning to serve here. 

My heart is happy because of the prayers you are offering up for me and the strength I have in Him over this area of my life that normally- well, being completely honest again- makes me very emotional. 

Thank you for standing in the gap asking the Father to be all I need personally this week.  Thank you for praying this week will be all He wants it to be.  I can't wait to see all He does. 

Much Love!
Mrs. Tara