For those of you who know me personally - know I seldom at a loss for words. Most often quite the opposite, I am full of words. I want to tell you about a time this past week when for a moment I didn't know what to say but was actually overwhelmed by God's goodness.
You see, it has been a really busy month. There have been many activities and events at church. Several of these were providing childcare. Every single time it was to support incredible opportunities for parents. As the excitement of the first night of our Music and Media Ministry sharing a worship experience with our church family and community, so did my desire to attend. I had heard great things about it and one of my good friends even told me you have got to attend. She encouraged me to find someone to work the desk so I could attend. Well I tried and after asking several people just resigned myself to the idea I would not get to attend.
Well the Friday night it opened the weather was horrendous. I mean it was a down pour. It was a huge storm and I thought oh no, people will stay home. They will not come out in this weather. I was beginning to get disappointed for our new Music Ministers - they both had worked so very hard. Then an amazing thing happened - people began to POUR in just like the rain was pouring outside. There was an excitement all around. Then it happened.
I began to have a big pity party for myself. I wallowed in a lot of thoughts in my flesh. It was not a pretty - all the thoughts going through my head. I actually prayed Lord is there anyone that cares that I don't get to go to church most of the time and that I would really, really like to be a part of this special worship opportunity. To be completely honest with you I was even mad and told God I was mad. I ended up telling myself to "suck it up" and "get over it" (forgive me if that word offends you). I just accepted it is what I do and that often there are sacrifices that go with being called to Children's Ministry. So I went about my night and didn't think of it again.
The sanctuary begin to empty and parents returned to pick up their little ones. One of the parents came up to the desk and said are you getting to attend one of the nights. I told her that I wanted to and tried to find someone but could not secure someone. She said I am going to cover the desk so you can attend. She said the Lord told me during the worship service to come and offer to stay so I could go. I just looked at her for a minute and then said are you sure? She said yes, I know the Lord told me to offer to do this. I didn't really know what to say but made the necessary arrangements and thanked her.
As I had time later that night, to really think about what had happened, I realized God was answering my plea. He was saying Tara - I heard you and I care. I care so much that I have secured someone for you. Not only had He secured someone but it was a former staff member who had worked the desk before. I then realized not only did God find someone to cover the desk but someone I was more than 100% comfortable covering the desk. Someone I knew I didn't have to wonder if they were okay. Because of those two facts I was able to have an incredible worship experience that next night.
When my friend came to cover the desk - I left her a note telling her about my pity party and thanking her for being an answered prayer. She told me later that she wondered if when God spoke directly to her and told her to ask me, if it was at the same time I was asking Him if anyone cared I wanted to attend too. I believe it was. I believe it could have even been before. I believe when I made those pleas and lamented to God - even if not necessarily with the right attitude- He heard me and answered my plea. I remember saying God please send someone who can work tomorrow night. The reason I think He might have even prompted her to ask me before I prayed those prayers- is because He already knew my heart. He knew how I felt but He wanted me to tell Him how I felt (and boy did I). Oh His grace and goodness!
What an incredible thing- I know He answers prayers all day long, every day but I am reminded of His goodness to me when He makes Himself known that powerfully and quickly in my life.
The neat thing is she came back the next night so one of the "nursery ladies" could attend. And when someone else heard what she did for me, they came back the next night and worked so another "nursery lady" could attend. There is no better life than to live for Jesus. Even when I fail, He unconditionally loves me!
Tomorrow is a day to remember what He did for each and every one of us on the Cross at Calvary........ but remember Sunday is coming!